Sunday, June 28, 2009;
typed out on ; 7:48 AM
okayyy.
for these past few days,i've been emo-ing and crying like wtf.
lol i know.
that day i cried so much i actually felt dehydrated.
OMG can somebody puh-lease smack me in the face?
grrrrrr.
why am i crying?
hmmm.
cause i kept listening to those sad sad songs about love and all.
i know.pathetic.
with a capital "P".
haiz.
usually i am not like that.
but i dunno why i am acting this way.
lol.
smack me someone please?
and my heart has been aching lately.
cause i miss him.
terribly.
i want to forget him.
really i do.
but....
he is my friend.
a good friend.
and i THINK he does not realise i am ABSOLUTELY gaga over him.
haiz.
i seriously feel like murdering myself.
and P.S; all my ex-boyfriends never make me feel this way before.
lol.
i want to be his but...
i know i will never be good enough for him.
he deserves someone a lot better.
someone who is not super bitchy like me.
not blur,dumb and ugly like me.
someone who is gentle and ladylike unlike me.
i am not running myself down.
its true.
LOL.
godddd smack me now people.
and what if we get together?
we will be so so so happy and in love.
but it will not last long.
cause i am not a faithful one.
i get bored easily with one man.
lol.
and i will pull back before something really really serious goes on.
cause i am afraid of being hurt.
once i am hurt,i will seek revenge on the person who hurts me.
i know.
like wtf?!.
haiz haiz haiz.
but the thing is...
i have fallen for him.
really really.
i think of him every min and i miss him so much my heart is aching.
and the thought of him being hurt makes me feel hurt too.
cliche i know.
godddd.
how how how?
i shall smack myself now.
lol.
i want to stay single now cause i don't want to be hurt and i don't want to hurt anyone.
haiz.
but the thought of him being in another girl's arms makes me want to murder that girl.
haiz haiz.
okay u know what?
i will let him go.
he deserves his own happiness.
goodbye forever dear friend.
go have a happily ever after with your princess.
((:
